Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Making Tracks

Went to the Big'O for new tires today, which you'd think would be uneventful...but it gave me quite a story to tell. Going to try my hand at being a play-write. FYI, NONE of their associates look like the guys on their website...everyone I interacted with was at least 20 years older, that many pounds bigger, and not a single one smiled at me...To avoid confusion, I have settled on a picture I found online, and doctored it to convey a certain emotion about my experience. Meet:

Big'O Guy:
Other characters include:

leggy blonde:

Other Big'o guy

and me:

Act 1, Scene1: The front 2 tires replaced on my Malibu, and the front end aligned.
"$179 for just the tires...if you want them aligned, it's another $74."

"Wow! Really? I sort of thought alignment would be included in my purchase of tires? No? Well, then let's just be sure it needs to be aligned. Go ahead with the tires and give me a call after you've checked the alignment."

"Sounds super!!"

Act 1, Scene 2: Phone call while window shopping
*ring, ring* "Hello? Oh hi, Big'o guy! The tires DO need to be aligned? Well, to be honest, the price seems a bit steep, considering I'm spending $200 on tires in your store. I'm on a tight family budget. Can you give me a discount on the alignment?"

"Well, I already gave you a $10 discount. It's originally $79. I can't go any lower than that."

"Ummm....you quoted me $74. That's barely a $5 discount....and it's definitely not $10"

"Oh, uh, *sputter, sputter* $74 is a $10 discount after sales tax...Plus I have to pay a tech and run a $35K machine."

"Well, I'll be there in a few minutes to get my car. Don't worry about the alignment."
at this point, feeling a bit 'taken' by Big'o guy.

Act 1, Scene 3: The plot thickens
"That'll be $179.99 for the tires."

"OK. Here's my card." *pay, pay pay, lalalalalala*

Enter stage left leggy blonde at next cash register:

"Oh, my front end needs aligned? How much is that gonna cost?"
(please note that she has only asked for cost. NOT discounted cost, like I did...)

"Well, it's normally $79, but I can do it for $59."

"Oh, gee *giggle* that is so great! See you in a few days! *teehee!*"

?????????????"Um, excuse me other Big'o guy"


"Did you just tell leggy blonde you would do a front end alignment for $59????????"

"Yeeeeeeeeesssss. Yes I did."

*sheepish grin*

What I should have said: "What the CRAP????!!!! If I grow 10 inches, put on some heels and lipstick, and get hair extensions, then do I get a discount? It's not good enough to be on a family budget and asking for for a discount? I have to be (said in Ben Stiller voice) 'really really gooood loooking', too? Screw you, Big'o guy! I intend to write a strongly worded letter to corporate Big'o! Hmph!"

What I actually said (while staring down Big'o guy): "Nice." Then I just left.

The End.

In hindsight, it's just possible that saying less was better. Big'o guy knows he got caught trying to hustle me. Maybe, just maybe Big'o guy feels bad? Maybe.


  1. I always hated taking my car into the shop for anything. Even a simple oil change usually resulted in them telling me I needed several hundred dollars worth of work done. Luckily I knew better. I think women often get the short end of the stick in these places. Especially if they aren't leggy blondes. xoxoM

  2. WHAAAT?!?!?! So, btw, you don't need new tires aligned.... ever. He wanted your money, and that girl too. JJJEEEERRRRKKKKZZZZZ!!!!!